Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Now the video mentioned in the headline there is nowhere near as explicit as you're hoping, you deviant. That said, picture it - there you are out in the wild camping away, when suddenly you're woken up my a super-horny Bigfoot tickling your nethers. It's a frightening predicament really, one that, depending on what the mythical ape-person is wearing, we're pretty sure we hope to never find ourselves in. Again, we'd like to stress here it depends on what the thing is wearing. If it's Versace we just might be in.
As ludicrous as the whole thing sounds - there's a guy who actually claimed something like this pretty recently. Minus the high fashion of course.
If you are of a cryptozoological mind, and you've currently got a metal-framed backpack sitting by your front door as you're intent on finding sasquatch this weekend - for heaven's sake don't search in New Hampshire. No sir - the Bigfoot there will pin you down while he sexily strokes your genitalia against your will.
Gene R. Morrill is on the front end of a 20 year prison sentence for going online in the hopes of finding a 13-year-old male one-night stand. Or a full-blown relationship. We're not sure about the specifics.
But he was up to something horrible - horrible enough to earn him two decades of pooping in front of his roommate. He needs an out.
The out he was counting on, apparently, was insanity. We assume that's why he started telling people Bigfoot molested him in the past. According to The Free Lance-Star:
"A man who claims that he was molested by Bigfoot as a child was ordered to serve 20 years in prison yesterday for his own molestation-related activities… Morrill told an investigator preparing his pre-sentence report about being sexually assaulted by the legendary Bigfoot, a North American folklore character said to be between 7 and 10 feet tall, and covered in dark brown or dark reddish hair. [His defense attorney] said Morrill really believes the [assault] happened."
Crazy, right? Well judge for yourself. Here's a video news clip.
Original here
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