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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Stalin’s Deranged Vision of a Human-Ape Super Race


The Institute of Experimental Pathology and Therapy was the world’s first ever primate testing centre, revolutionary in its medical discoveries and responsible for sending monkeys into outer space. The institute which was once the envy of the West, is now a dilapidated shell of its former glory. On the edge of financial ruin, the only reminder of its prestigious past is the horrific noise and site of the left generations of monkeys caged and distraught, but this present day site is only a fragment of the institutes more sinister history: attempting to breed the first human ape.

The institute founded in 1927 was rumored to have come into existence, as part of Stalin’s disturbing plan to make legions of industrial workers that would be inhumane in strength, while mentally subdued. This would in theory, be achieved by inseminating female chimpanzees with human sperm from male donors, in order to create human-ape hybrids that could mindlessly build cities at terrifying speeds.

After decades of circulating through the Russian Media and being entangled by myth, Russian scientists working at the institute today, admit that such experiments did take place within the institute and that most of the radical testing can be narrowed down to one man named Dr. Ilya Ivanov.

Professor Barkaya, the present day scientific director of the Institute, speaking to the Independent explains that Dr. Ivanov “took sperm from human males and injected it into female chimpanzees, although nothing came of it.” Dr. Ivanov had come to the institute to attempt the creation of the human hybrids, after successfully creating new species of horse at the Pasteur institute in Paris. The various years of testing in the early days of the institute, would manifest itself into hundreds of bizarre experiments before the epic task of trying to tackle 20th centuries diseases.

Inspired by Darwinism and Eugenics, combined with the abject soviet rejection of religion, Stalin’s deranged vision of a mechanized utopia was put to work. The desire to realize a perverted dream of monstrous sub-humans, whose sole purpose was to extend the soviet empire, was in action. However, along with communist utopian visions, the plan failed: most of the monkey’s escaped or were murdered during the crossfire of the Georgian Abkhaz War. Today only 286 specimens live in the institute.

One can only wonder though, what the new race would have looked like if the experiments had been fruitful, in particular seeing the nightmarish vision of thousands of indefinable men with bestial features, slaving away mindlessly on vast industrial zones.

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Original here

Insane Office Worker - Audio Recovered


This is a video response to Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane

The 50 Best Pun Stores

Pun stores. Stores with puns in the title. Bet you didn’t think we could rank the 50 best ones. But you didn’t even think there were 50. Well guess again. BWE.tv has scoured the internet and pulled together the 50 Best Pun Establishments. And here we go:

50.

MERCHANT OF TENNIS.jpg

49.
JUST FALAFS.jpg

48.

BWERER AWAKENING.jpg

47.
CYCLOANALYSTS.jpg

46 More Pun Stores (Seriously) After the cut.

And they’re pretty much all brilliant.

46.

PEKING INN.jpg

45.
PIZZA MY HEART.jpg

44.
THAI ME UP.jpg

43.
SOFA SO GOOD.jpg

42.
SOLE MAN.jpg

41.
THE DIRTY HOE.jpg

40.
ASALTBATTERY.jpg

39.
SHIRLEY U DRIVE.jpg

38.
LOX STOCK.jpg

37.
BEST LITTLE HAIR HOUSE.jpg

36.
ENTHAISING.jpg

35.
LETTUCE EAT.jpg

34.
CUBIC HAIR.jpg

33.
NINCOMSOUP.jpg

32.
COMBING ATTRACTIONS.jpg

31.
JUAN IN A MILLION.jpg

30.
PETS AND THE CITY.jpg

29.
Award Wieners.jpg

28.
CU LATTE.jpg

27.
SUNNYSHEARS.jpg

26.
PITAPAN.jpg

25.
BONAPETREAT.jpg

24.
MASTERBAITTACKLE.jpg

23.
THE HUMAN BEAN.jpg

22.
CURLUPANDDYE.jpg

21.
GET PLASTERED.jpg

20.
FI DOUGH.jpg

19.
FLORIST GUMP.jpg

18.
PITAWRAPBIT.jpg

17.
TIE COON.jpg

16.
FED UP.jpg

15.
MEAT U THERE.jpg

14.
HAIRWEARE.jpg

13.
CHIPSYKING.jpg

12.
WILLIAM THE CONCRETER.jpg

11.
LUNASEAMOTEL.jpg

10.
WOK THIS WAY.jpg

9.
MARQUIS DE SALADE.jpg

8.
PUBIC HAIR.jpg

7.
PLANET OF THE GRAPES.jpg

6.
DICK LIQ.jpg

5.
NY STOCKING EXCHANGE.jpg

4.
CANE AND ABLE1.jpg

3.
LORD OF THE FRIES.jpg

2.
THAITANIC.jpg

1.
PANE IN GLASS.jpg

Comments time! Let us know your favorite pun store titles below.

(And, to be fair, 50 and 49 are my faves.)

Original here