Friday, September 19, 2008
Let’s face it, here at YuppiePunk World HQ, we really aren’t qualified to be judging anyone’s haircut. In high school, our jazz-fusion slash glam metal mullet was epically out of control. Think Richard Marx, only lamer (is that even possible?). These days, we’ve hardly enough hair (unless our back counts) to even qualify as having a haircut. But being qualified never got in our way before, so why start now?
The internets is great at bringing us together with its fancy social networking sites and RSS-reading iPhones. But its also great for finding pictures of first-class douche jockeys. Like these guys/girls, all of whom had the
audacity good sense to let themselves — and their haircuts — be photographed and uploaded for our viewing pleasure.
These three hair explorers carved full-on faces onto the tops of their heads. The dude on the left’s hair sculpture looks kinda look Jerry Garcia, while the dude in the center looks a lot like The Edge from U2. But who’s the mysterious rocker on the right, David Crosby?
Here are three more backside ‘dos, or more accurately, backside don’ts. The one in the middle is an ancient Chinese proverb which translates to: “There are always ears on the other side of the wall. And on both sides of this ridiculous haircut.”
Too bad this guy didn’t resist the urge to shave something stupid into his hair.
It’s great to root for your favorite sports team. It’s also great to root for these guys to get a new barber.
At least these three fucktards tried to do something stylish with their stupid haircuts.
Graphics and haircuts should never go together. Angles? Sure. Shapes? Ok. Graphics? Never, ever, never.
These kids deserve a hand for their daring ‘dos.
Second perhaps only to new wave, punk has some of the most disastrous hairstyles of any musical genre. We dig the Misfits devil locks, and a good mohawk looks totally tough, but these chicks take things a bit too far.
There have been volumes devoted to the glory of the mullet, but we’d be remiss not to include this pair. The younger chap combines three or four hair don’ts into a single style, while Mr. Wrong over on the right goes shirtless to give us his best Joe Dirt. Quick someone register ShirtlessGuysWithBeardsAndMullets.com.
Dude on the left: Rat tail? Check. Shaved sides? Check. Cupid’s arrow? Check mate. Dude on the right: “No, I said make it look ironic and shitty, not like a guy shitting!”
For weeks now I have been receiving fax calls on my house line, a number I've had for over twenty years and now ported to VOIP; somehow, at some point, it got included on a telemarketing fax CD.
I get them 3-4 times a day, each repeated 3 times, starting at 6 AM. Being awaken by the cheerful chirping of a fax when answering the phone isn't my cup of tea: Nobody calls me at six, so when it rings I always think there is some kind of emergency!
I finally decided to do something about this problem, and using the caller ID number as starting point, Google kindly provides me with the main number and name of the offending company.
The receptionist was not so receptive to my request: Seems they have many employees, and no interest in tracking down who is sending what, because they are very, very busy. Goodbye.
OK. Fine by me. One great advantage of my VOIP provider (Primus, for anyone who cares) is that their base package includes many interesting features, including the possibility to redirect any number to another. Thirty seconds later, I had the fax number redirected to the receptionist's number.
Since the redirection happens at the exchange, it will of course be a bit more difficult for them to track down the origin of these new, annoying calls than if they had been willing to listen to my complaint. They had their chance, and blew it.
I call this forcing corporate responsibility.
Get it? Now all the fax spammers are sending faxes to the receptionist at the company that bought the guy's telephone number, the receptionist that said they were too busy to remove his number, using the fax machine they're too busy to remove from their list. It's like a delicious irony cake wrapped in irony ice cream and topped with chocolate irony sprinkles! Let's see how long it takes for them to remove that number now. Congrats to you, Pat, you are our consumer action hero of the week!