Chinese Olympic Diving Gold Medalists in the off season (via amazon.com)
How do you promote a series of deadly plagues on society? By creating a toy that promotes childhood obesity, low self standards, and apparently foreign child labor (come on, a Chinese girl making McDonald’s?), that’s how. Enter the McDonald’s Drive Through Food Cart- a fast-food conglomerate’s approach to trapping your children early into recognizing fast food restaurants as not only a means of cheap and unhealthy food, but also a place of fun, fantasy, and fattened childhood memories.
Like food dealing Drug Lords, they’ve created a toy that not only enforces McDonald’s propaganda onto your children at an early age, but has effective created a vicious circle of obesity and destruction that is basically one step away from a”V for Vendetta-esque” future where only a guy-Fawkes mask wearing hero can save us.
I’m not sure what happened to the days where toys like Legos, tea party sets, and basketballs were the standard for Christmas gifts, but apparently the days of diabetes, labored breathing, and liposuction are here to stay. I think its fair to say the dangerous implications of this toy are on par with a red rider Bebe gun from the movie “A Christmas Story”, but you’re more likely to cut your foot off because of diabetes with this demon on four legs. They might as well make a “High School Musical r*pe kit complete with underwear already turned inside out.”
It’s pretty sad to see how vibrant the comments are from parents- ” they love it. Looooooooove it!” and “the kids actually believe they are apart of the McDonald’s crew!” Sigh. If you, reader, are unable to see the complete destruction of society through this toy, then allow me to reiterate. Children find themselves doing only what they see as fun and interesting, and thus sub-consciously find a connection to it with their daily lives. I, for example, love puzzles and games. Therefore, I’ve turned out into a smart-mouth and smart-ass nerd who is majoring in Information Systems and contributes to a nerdy website. If today’s youth find comfort and fun in the mass production and distribution of fattening and stomach churning burgers and fries (albeit those yogurt parfaits are god d*mned ridiculously delicious), then what will happen to the future? Ten years down the line, we won’t have transitions from play doctors to real doctors or YMCA basketball all-stars to NBA all-stars, we’ll have an army of unmotivated drive-through employees and cashier-workers who end every sentence with “would you like fries with that?” What comes to mind after seeing this toy is the movie “Idiocracy”- if you haven’t seen it, then please do (”welcome to Costco, I love you” :P) . And if you can’t make the connection from dumb people to a dumb future after watching this movie, then may Jeebus help us, because its already begun. Epic Fail McDonald’s, GG.
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