32-year-old Michelle Allen of Middleton, Ohio was just minding her business, urinating on a neighbor’s porch while dressed as a cow, when cops told her to please go home. Later that day, cops were called once again as Allen was blocking traffic and chasing terrified children. It was at this point that cops went ahead and decided to arrest her. Cows > The Pigs, motherfuckers:
The arresting officer says Allen smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, and was belligerent. She also alleged cussed at the officer.
Allen informed police that, if brought to jail, she would “cause problems.” She did manage to put on a suit for her court hearing, but not before leaving us with the finest mug shot in the history of the world.
How udderly terrifying. The report makes it clear to mention that:
It is not clear why she was wearing the costume.
Um, maybe because she’s awesome?
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