America OWNS the moon

The Moon is sucha’ beautiful place, ya’ll, and thank goodness America owns the intellectual right to it. Ya’see, it’s ’cause we’re the only country that’s EVER been. And we only needed to go once to claim it all, and because we have proof, we have the ability to boast and say, “Russia, sucks for you!”.

When ‘Merica joined the great ‘Space Race’ in December of 1956, it made a vow to kick some USSR ass, and by golly ya’ll, it sure did. We were in peril of the Russian’s wippin’ out their stuff and showin’ us who’s boss, with sendin’ that there monkey and all in to space. Not to mention Sputnik, that spy satalite that kept watch on EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN SOUL, when we was eatin’, bathin’, makin’ relations, readin’, usin’ the bathroom, the Russians knew what any of us was doin’ at any given’ time.

Now ya’ see, ‘Merica, we couldn’t have that, so our great president announced to the world that we would be the first to touch foot on the moon. And millions of dollars and thousands of man hours went in to the Apollo project that would ultimately take us to the moon. Finally on July 20th, 1969, America got it’s wake up call and found out that the hippies neaded to cease and disist ’cause we were now space dwellers. Those silly bastards on Apollo 11 stepped foot on the moon. Now, it’s true that we don’t have the technology to get back to the moon - maybe someone lost it, like a Janitor or whatnot. It’s not like they had advanced computer systems or anything and they all weren’t rocket scientists.

And in spite of that “VAN ALLEN BELT”, that thick layer of radiation that would kill anyone who passes through it within a matter of minutes, we had God’s love to carry us through. If God invented that belt of radiation that kills any life that passes through it, he could just turn it off for a minute or two… I mean it’s only there to protect us against solar winds and harmful rays that the sun emits. That’s all.

Now, I know that you’re thinkin’, the shadows intersect on the moon, as seen in most of the pictures NASA released, and it couldn’t be logically possible to only have one light-source like NASA had claimed, and that light source being the sun. Well, you ain’t ever been to the moon so ya’ll don’t know what it’s like up there. It could be different, maybe shadows intersect up there. Until you’ve been to tha’ moon, you can keep your mouth shut. And maybe they only release 2% of the pictures taken ’cause they didn’t look good in the other 98% of them. And no, just ’cause fast-forwarding the at 2X the “recorded” speed of the moon walk depicts average earth gravity doesn’t mean it was shot on earth. Maybe everything is just EXACTLY 2 times slower up there on the moon.

I mean, just ’cause there isn’t much proof that we were there and the proof that it was faked is more thoroughly mapped out doesn’t mean we weren’t there. We still own the moon and that’s just another reason why America is the best.