The world can be a pretty depressing place sometimes—just watch the nightly news. Is it any wonder we look for assurance from above that we’re not alone, that somebody is watching out for us? Whether it’s a sign of desperate times, or a sign that we’re desperately seeking divinity, images of God are cropping up in the least expected places. I can understand looking for renewals of faith in everyday life, but I personally draw the line at a holy Cheeto.
Cheeto Jesus
While eating Cheetos, I rarely examine the intricate details of the crunchy snack. In fact, I’m more focused on not noticing its artificial orange coloring. If Jesus appears via Cheeto, would that make Chester the Cheetah a disciple? Would Frito Bandito be the devil? The questions are endless.
Crabapple Mary
Does anyone see the Virgin Mary in this crabapple tree? The woman who found it seemed to think so, but I guess one woman’s holy mother is another woman’s gnarled old tree.
Jesus with a Side of Sauerkraut
Jesus is back, and he’s in dumpling form! Okay, maybe someone got creative with a lighter. Oddly enough, this is just one instance of many in which holy figures appear on fattening foods. Maybe people are trying to make their indulgences a little less sinful.
Virgin Mary on White, Hold the Butter
Had I created this divine grilled cheese sandwich, I think I would’ve said, “Hey, there’s a face on this,” shown it to my roommates, and then eaten it anyway. Diana Duyser had far more self-control and sold it practically uneaten on Ebay for $28,000. She then got a tattoo of the slightly-burned Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich on her chest, confirming my suspicion that she is crazy. [(plus, I saw the video, and she’s missing a lot of her front teeth…)]
Mother Teresa as a Cinnamon Bun
First of all, this cinnamon bun looks all kinds of nasty, even when placed on classy purple velvet. Mother Teresa wasn’t too happy about being compared to the sugared dough mass. She asked the coffee shop in which it was discovered to stop selling merchandise with her name attached to the bun, and someone actually stole the bun in 2005.
Bloody Mary
This guy claimed that the Virgin Mary saved his life in a motorcycle accident, a fact evidenced by her appearance on his nasty leg wound. I think this guy just wanted to show off his gnarly scab to the masses.
Cooking with Jesus
This product is perfect for all of those unfortunate souls who wait anxiously—to no avail—for Jesus to appear on their tortillas, carpet stains, and so forth. Although this Mrbreakfast.com article says the pan was eventually found to be fraudulent, the idea of having Jesus staring up at us as we sit down to pancakes in the morning was kind of nice.
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