What do you mean that today's already the 14th? Oh crap! Can you rush out during lunch hour and buy something? Yes, but what? Flowers and an erotic cake might be barely passable, and that's what you did last year, so you need to step it up. Go with a slightly more expensive gift. Still stumped? Good thing we've got a list of extremely last minute gadget gift ideas that may be for her, but are secretly for you. It's a win/win.
Boobies Mouse Pad
What you tell her: It's for you baby, to protect your wrists because of all that computer work you do.
Why it's for you: I love seeing you fondle another woman's boobs, even if it's a fake, rubberized woman.
The iPhone
What you tell her: I've seen you eyeing this phone for a while, and now you can finally use it! Just think, you don't have to carry around an iPod and your phone all the time! And we can text message each other so much!
Why it's for you: Give it a month for the newness to wear off and swap out her iPhone with some cheap phone. She won't care.
Why it's really for me: Because you can buy my iPhone book as well.
An electronic nail dryer
What you tell her: You always keep saying how your nails are awful, right? This will help you save money by not having to go out to have your nails done!
Why it's for you: It helps keep her occupied for an hour so you can finally get some gaming done.
The Evian Water Bra
What you tell her: You have to stay hydrated, right? Just drink directly from the bra. Plus, the water inside can help cool your breasts, which—as Travis Hudson of Gizmodo says—prevents "sweaty breastitis."
Why it's for you: Nobody likes a case of sweaty breastitis, except maybe Travis.
Electric Ice Cream Maker
What you tell her: You love ice cream, I love ice cream, who doesn't like ice cream?
Why it's for you: I plan on impregnating you one day, better keep your body osteoporosis-free.
Why it's actually really for her after all: Impregnation is never a man's idea!
An Xbox 360
What you tell her: Because the...uhhh...ummm...uhhh...the HD DVD...errmm...DVD...ahhh...wireless controllers are neater...mmmm...I love you?
Why it's for you: This should be obvious.
A giant HDTV
What you tell her: You've always wanted a giant HDTV!
Why it's for you: She's never wanted a giant HDTV.
The FyreTV, a streaming on-demand porn for the living room box
What you tell her: Come on! When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?!
Why it's for you: When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?
What you tell her: It's for you to exercise! Stay healthy so we can grow old together!
Why it's for you: You're fat.
Got enough tips? Now get shopping! [Cupid outfit courtesy Buy Costumes]
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