Melanie Yexley is the woman everyone wants at their wedding. Even when the professional wedding planner is attending off-duty as a guest, she usually ends up saving the day — dashing in with a pin as the bride's button pops off or salvaging a cake dropped by caterers.
At one friend's celebration, she decorated the dining room when waiters overlooked it. And to all those who employ her to organise their celebrations, Mel is invaluable: enthusiastic, inspiring and committed to perfecting their plans — six brides were so besotted with her they even asked her to be their bridesmaid.
But behind Melanie's lifelong love of weddings, she harbours a surprising view kept quiet from her hopeful clients. After being betrayed by both her husbands, Melanie is a wedding planner who doesn't believe in marriage.
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Wedding planner: Michelle Yexley loves her job but will never marry again
"I always cry when I watch the ceremony," says Melanie, 30. "It makes me sad seeing the couple so full of hope and joy as I remember being that happy at my own weddings — and know what pain ensued.
"Hearing the vows is heartbreaking because I've made them myself, twice, and each time I was the only partner who stuck to them."
Yet, Melanie still chooses to dedicate her life to helping couples get married. Organising weddings is far more than a job — it's her passion.
She frequently stays up till 3am creating invites and designing dresses, and works tirelessly to satisfy every aspiration of the bride-to-be — from a three-tier marquee with Vegas showgirls to having 100 yellow butterflies released.
For as long as she can remember, Melanie has been obsessed with being a bride. From the age of seven, she regularly wore her mother's net curtains over her head and walked up and down stairs so her white dress trailed in a train.
At 15, she organised a pretend wedding, with her boyfriend as groom and friends playing bridesmaid and vicar.
"As a child, my favourite stories were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty — I would swoon at the thought of being rescued by Prince Charming," Mel says. "I was constantly thinking and talking about weddings, completely in love with the fairytale."
So it's not surprising that Melanie married, aged just 18. She met her first husband at 16, soon after moving back to Britain from San Fernando Valley, California, with her parents, who had emigrated when she was a toddler.
Settling into Thornbury, Bristol, she was introduced to Richard — at 21, five years her senior — through a school friend.
"As ridiculous as it sounds, having been brought up in America, I found his Liverpudlian accent really sexy," laughs Mel.
Richard swiftly became her first serious boyfriend — and she immediately started thinking about marriage. Twelve months later, she proposed. "I have no patience and wanted my fairytale," admits Melanie. "It wasn't romantic, I just said: 'Should we get married?'
"He agreed and we bought a gold emerald ring. I paid the £300 myself but Richard promised to repay me."
In fact, Richard, a telemarketing executive, was using her cashcard, which naively she'd told him the pin number of.
"When I confronted him, he swore he'd simply borrowed some money. I had doubts about him but ignored them, convinced he would change once we were married."
And in any case, Melanie was preoccupied planning her big day — the traditional white church wedding she'd spent her life imagining.
Though because Richard had siphoned her savings, Melanie had to buy a second-hand dress and couldn't afford a honeymoon.
"Despite the dress, I loved being a bride," says Mel. "It was a beautiful sunny day in our quaint village and I truly meant it when I vowed to be with him forever."
Looking back now, Melanie is horrified she married so early.
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Two weddings: Michelle, left, with her second husband John and first time round, right, marrying Richard
"Friends told me I was too young but I kept thinking: 'Nobody understands how grown-up I am'. My dad disapproved but mum believes you should learn from your own mistakes so said very little."
Mel likens her family to that in the film My Big Fat Greek Wedding — her claim to own every wedding film ever produced is proven by her habit of referencing her life through them.
Watching the recent romantic comedy about a bridesmaid, 27 Dresses, was "like watching herself" (she's been bridesmaid 13 times).
Friends call her "the J-Lo of Bristol" — after Jennifer Lopez's character in The Wedding Planner — a film which highlights how in the U.S. hiring a wedding planner is as natural as buying an engagement ring. Yet, in Britain, they were until recently almost unheard of — a situation which inspired Melanie's career.
"When I couldn't find a planner, I spotted a gap in the market," explains Mel. "Soon after my own marriage several friends got engaged and asked me for advice. Helping them developed my confidence, and when friends-of-friends wanted assistance I started turning it into a business."
Meanwhile, Melanie was discovering the reality of being Richard's wife, her first experience of cohabiting coming only after their wedding.
"My family is very traditional and brought me up believing you stay at home till you're married," says Mel.
"But moving in with Richard was a nightmare — he was untidy, lazy and boring. I'd known him only to go out and have fun with, so I never appreciated how dull he was. Plus, he was borrowing thousands of pounds. But I'd made my bed so I had to lie in it."
The pair plodded on unhappily until one evening two years after their wedding, when a girl telephoned the house asking for Richard, explaining he was meant to meet her and hadn't showed up. The girl had no idea Melanie existed.
"I twigged he was having an affair but I wasn't annoyed — I was actually thrilled because it provided grounds for separation," says Mel. "When he returned home, I said I wanted a divorce. It wasn't dramatic — neither of us seemed bothered or upset."
They gave notice on their rented house and moved into separate rooms in a two-bedroom flat. Melanie was 21 when her divorce came through.
"I was overwhelmed with relief, although admitting and accepting failure was tough. Asking for a divorce was the hardest thing I've ever done — but the best."
She now recognises she had indulged a widespread misconception — that men will change once they're married.
It's a mistake Melanie witnesses many brides make. "Women think their fiance will stop going out once they're married, or become more affectionate. But, if anything, husbands are less sweet than boyfriends.
"The first year of marriage is difficult because people expect a transformation and nothing alters."
She sees lots of couples split up soon after marrying — but says those who last a year tend to stay together.
"Sometimes it's possible to predict a marriage's success. Alarm bells ring when I'm planning weddings and rarely see the groom because he's with his mates or playing football and doesn't want any input — I can't help feeling nervous for the bride.
"But I always bite my tongue and hope it will work out for every couple."
Her own marriage may have failed but Melanie's wedding business was booming, still as a sideline to her IT day job. Keenly creative, Mel began making dresses, tiaras and invitations — handicraft which started as a moneysaver when one client needed a cheap, convenient marriage after falling pregnant unexpectedly.
"With just £2,000 to spend, everyone pitched in — I made the dress, their neighbour baked the cake and the bride's mum arranged the flowers. The ceremony was held late afternoon so guests needed feeding only once, and they were served hog roast instead of a sit-down dinner. Yet it was a lovely occasion and the couple were delighted.
"Often, I'm employed to make it look like people splashed out or to spend cash wisely."
Divorce hadn't quelled Mel's desire for her own fairytale either. Months after separating from Richard, she started seeing her long-standing friend John, then 25, and moved into his house.
"Our relationship was perfect — passionate, fun and loving," says Mel — so she proposed six months later. "This time, I turned tradition on its head by phoning his mum beforehand and asking for her son's hand in marriage. Then, sitting in the Roman Baths in Bath one weekend, I turned to him with a silver ring and asked: 'Will you marry me?' He said yes immediately."
So Mel started enthusiastically arranging her second wedding, determined that this one would be perfect. "We had a big budget and I knew what to do and what not to do — how to achieve the wow factor without overkill," says Mel.
"Often, couples try too many grand ideas and guests get frustrated."
The couple married on their second anniversary in front of 200 guests at a beautiful manor house in Bristol, at a cost of £17,000.
"The day was amazing — I joked that my first wedding was a rehearsal for the real thing," she says. "It was completely magical and what I'd always dreamed of. People still say they've never been to such a good wedding."
The couple returned home elated from honeymoon in Andorra. "Married life was bliss," raves Mel. "John was an amazing man, very romantic and sweet. I used to tell everyone they should have a husband like mine."
It was John's support and encouragement that in 2003 persuaded Melanie to become a full-time wedding planner. Using severance pay from her voluntary redundancy she set up an office and company, charging 10 per cent of the overall wedding cost and advertised her services in bridal magazines.
As impressed guests recommended her, the business grew and was even featured in Vogue.
In total, Mel has helped organise is far more than 150 weddings. "Themed events are my favourite," says Mel.
"They're very popular — especially medieval, because the bride gets to wear a pretty velvet dress. I've also done biker weddings, Scottish weddings, rock weddings, 1920s wedding, gangster and moll weddings. I once went to a fairy wedding where guests all wore fairy wings."
She is also hired by couples just to oversee the day, ensuring no task is overlooked. Without a coordinator, couples hand envelopes of cash to their best man, who inevitably gets drunk and loses them.
"The best man is a major hazard," says Melanie. "I always guard the rings until the service starts and vet the speeches, checking slide shows don't contain pictures of past girlfriends, and eliminating inappropriate jokes."
But while Melanie was travelling round the country guaranteeing her clients' marriages got off to a great start, her own was about to implode.
After six years of stability, John dropped a bombshell — he'd been having an affair for eight months. When Melanie returned home from a weekend away with friends two years ago, she found him crying and clutching a letter he'd written to her admitting his infidelity.
He begged for forgiveness, sobbing that he was sorry and had made a terrible mistake, but Melanie refused to listen: the trust had gone. She packed a bag and moved into a friend's house.
"I was gobsmacked; everybody was," recalls Melanie. "I never suspected. For months I was devastated. My fairytale was crushed."
Friends and family rallied round supportively, but Melanie retracted, unable to trust anyone.
In summer 2006, she left Bristol and moved to Dorset. "I wanted to start a new life and the south coast is gorgeous. It was a huge thing to cope with as I knew nobody and was lonely for a while.
"But I've met people now and can see the positives in being single — I actually like living alone. I have a dog and no desire for children."
But as upsetting as weddings now were, Melanie couldn't escape them — she needed to finish organising those already embarked upon. "It was distressing but I didn't let clients know what had happened," says Mel. And ironically grieving for her marriage made her only more adamant that women deserved wonderful weddings — for she clung to her own idyllic ceremony for comfort.
"While the fairytale didn't work out afterwards, I still have that perfect day — my perfect wedding. If it hadn't been brilliant, I'd feel I was missing out, but because I experienced my dream day I'm satisfied. So now I want everyone to feel how I felt at my wedding — whatever follows, that happiness will help them deal with tricky times — together or apart."
She blames the increasing breakdown of marriage on modern life. "A secure, monogamous relationship is a beautiful, valuable thing — but society no longer caters for marriage," she says.
"The traditional sense of staying together forever has been lost and as both men and women are career-minded now both partners are busy and have opportunity to play away."
She believes cheating has become easier — practically and morally: "Nowadays it's easy to start a secret life — mobile phones, e-mail and online networking let you chat with people worldwide and your other half will never know.
"It's also more acceptable to have an affair — people flippantly reveal they've cheated and nobody cares. In my parents' day infidelity was considered scandalous."
So what advice does she have for the thousands of couples about to embark on lifelong commitment? "For marriage to work, you need to be a team before you get married and not expect it to turn you into a team. If there are any issues, discuss them and don't just assume things will change — they won't," says Melanie.
"And splash out on the wedding — that day is the basis for your marriage. Plans you make do matter; some women spend their lives regretting theirs. One friend still cries that hers coincided with Diana's funeral, so felt gloomy."
Melanie's major tip is not to budget on the photographer: "Brides often can't recall the day, as it passes so quickly and excitedly, so it's important to have good photographs — they are all you have to remember it by."
Though Melanie has concrete memories of her own weddings — both dresses and veils still hang in her wardrobe. "I'll always keep them and weddings will always be my passion — my true love. But I'll never marry again — nothing and nobody could convince me to go through that again.
"Watching couples enjoy the day I've organised for them, I try to suppress my cynicism and believe their marriage will flourish. I pray other people achieve that happy ever after — I just know it won't happen to me."
• Some names in this feature have been changed.
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